


Then Stay

by castielatlas



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, I don't wan't to go, Regeneration, Romance, Tenth Doctor Regeneration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 19:37:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4637670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielatlas/pseuds/castielatlas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He dives in his human counterpart’s memory and his heart aches."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Then Stay

 

[We may fall in love every time we open up our eyes.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOQrfLFDUKY)

[I guess space and time takes violent things, angry things and makes them kind.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOQrfLFDUKY)

 

*

 

_You've held your head up_

_You've fought the fight_

_You bear the scars_

_You've done your time_

 

*

 

He slips into his counterpart’s consciousness as easily as slipping in a new suit. It’s him, same body, same mind, feelings and thoughts. He could almost think he didn’t swap if it wasn’t for the unfamiliar sensation of having only one heart, the strange feeling of being happily sleepy.

He opens his eyes to the blue of dawn, bathing the room he’s in. He’s in bed, warm under the covers and comfortable on the mattress. His limbs are tangled with someone else’s and his single heart skips a beat as he turns his head and sees her.

Rose is lying on her stomach, her back bare, covers up her waist. Her arms are half under the pillow her head rests on, golden hair a halo around her face, eyes closed and the light breath escaping her parted lips hollowing on his shoulder.

For a moment, he doesn’t quite know how to breathe anymore. She is here, and she is breathtaking. He drinks the sight of her for long minutes and then reaches to brush a blond lock off her face. His fingers linger and the chaos in his mind is suddenly so much quieter.

He has seen space and time, seen so much, done so much and met so many people. After the Time War, after losing everything and everyone, he had thought that he would never find love again –had thought that he didn’t deserve to. But then he had met her, all in pink and yellow, with her genuine kindness, her bright smile, her sparking eyes and vivid curiosity, and she had moved him utterly. When all he could see was black and white in the darkness of the night, she had burned so bright he could see the universe in technicolor again.

She had brought back the good in him as easily as breathing. His nickname “The Doctor” had been chosen to reflect his constant need to make people better, but at the time, it was _her_ who had made him better.

His Ninth incarnation had died for her and his Tenth had been born so completely in love with her, how could he ever expect to live without her? He was devoted to her, hearts and soul, and nothing had prepared him for what the privilege of being hers would do.

Lying in bed with her, bathed in the soothing aura of the bedroom, he lets himself pretend. For a moment, he allows himself to pretend that he is not dying. He pretends that he is not a Time Lord, the last of them, and that there isn't upon his shoulders a weight he can never be free of. He pretends that he is just a man.

He dives in his human counterpart’s memory and his heart aches.

He remembers his birth, Donna’s bewildered expression at seeing him regenerate from a hand. He remembers making the decision to exterminate the Daleks, the disturbing feeling of being a _warrior_.

He remembers Bad Wolf bay, the hurt piercing his chest when Rose had doubted him. He remembers the words he had been unable to say for so long rolling off his tongue, nothing stopping him from saying them anymore. He remembers the look in her eyes before she had kissed him, the feeling of her lips crashing against his in what felt like an explosion of colors.

As time had passed, he remembers having to adjust to being human and stuck on Earth, a task far harsher than he had first expected. He remembers Rose’s constant support despite her confusion, her coming to terms with the situation. He remembers her asking about _him_ , not because the Human Doctor wasn’t enough, but because she couldn’t help worry about the Time Lord Doctor.

He remembers helping around at Torchwood and the shared euphoria when they had used Donna’s advices to grow the branch of the TARDIS, promising them all of time and space again, in only a few years.

He remembers taking a cab at 2 am, his hand in hers like old times. He remembers simple yet broad moments of happiness, picnics and lazy mornings. He remembers the kisses, the touches and whispered words again and again.

He remembers it like it’s his, not echoes of a life he could never have.

 _Living a life, day after day._ _The one adventure I can never have._

“I don’t want to go,” he breathes, feeling the familiar burning sensation of regeneration in his body back in the TARDIS.

Rose’s eyes slowly flutter open, light brown irises landing on him, and a small smile blooms on her lips. It’s drowsy, so completely loving and warm he feels himself exploding.

“Then stay,” she says.


End file.
